Welcome to the third newsletter in Planning Your Future Self.

Last week in the newsletter series, I talked about how losing hope puts our future self at risk. If you missed it, here it is: Threat #1, Losing Hope in the Future.  

This week we'll discuss how releasing regret helps build what next!  

Threat #2: Carrying a Reactive Narrative About the Past

When Helen lost her husband at 58, she often replayed the same thought: “If only we had traveled more, if only I had done things differently." 

Her regrets grew louder than her hopes.

But one day, while sorting through old photos, she noticed something surprising. In nearly every picture, she was the one planning the gatherings, organizing the holidays, keeping people connected. That memory reframed her story: instead of focusing on missed opportunities, she could carry forward her strength as a community builder.

Now at 64, Helen leads a small “Sunday potluck circle” with neighbors. She hasn’t erased the grief, but she no longer lets regret control her narrative. She’s writing a next chapter filled with possibility.

Research

Studies in positive psychology show that reframing past regrets into sources of learning can boost motivation and resilience. When we see regrets as teachers rather than dead ends, we’re more likely to take action, connect with others, and build meaningful new routines.

Here's a worthy read on regret, From Regret to Resilience.

Simple Tips to Try

This week, try one of these ways to release regret and step toward what’s next:

• Flip One Regret. Write down a regret, then ask: “What lesson or strength can I carry forward from this?”

• Celebrate a Past Strength. Recall a time when you showed courage, creativity, or resilience. Let it remind you of what’s still possible.

• Title Your “Next Chapter.” Give it a name—“The Builder Years” or “My Season of Discovery”—to signal a fresh start.

Anchor Question

I'll leave you with this question to carry into your week:

"What story am I willing to rewrite for my future self?’ 

Write it down, share it with a friend, or simply whisper it to yourself—it’s the first step in turning regret into resilience.

Thank you for reading! I'll see you next week!

Carol Marak, Solo Aging Expert